Looking back in my life I can safely say that I had a mental illness long before I was diagnosed. In June of 93′ I sobered up and came out. In March of 94′ my mom was diagnosed with cancer and in August of that year she died.
In Sept of 94′ I wound up in the mental health unit and was diagnosed with bi-polar and anxiety disorder. I had countless hospitalizations, med changes. In July of 96′ I was sent home with 13 kinds of medications and was told I was to go live in a group home. That the was my to become my new life. I never went into that group home. I knew there had to be something better for my life.
I struggled for years. I found HDC. I got a new doctor that listened to me. I worked with Dr.Saracino. She was doing all she could do but I was not being Medicine compliant. I struggle for many more years. Having been sober for many years I relapsed. I spiral down and am circling the drain. I changed therapist. We changed my meds to no relief. My mental illness was on fire.
In 2013 I felt I had come to the end of my rope. I had a suicide plan. I wanted out of this nightmare of a life I had been living. I saw a nurse practitioner and she suggested taking and anti-psychotic I refused because I felt I wasn’t that sick. To me that carried a stigma.
I finally said I would try it. What could it hurt I was already at my wits end. 4 weeks after starting this medicine I was sitting at home and I felt a feeling that was strange to me. It was happiness. It has been 14 months since I started taking it. My life has never been so good. For the first time in my life I have peace in my brain. I’ve done DBT. I continue to go to therapy, take my medicine. I pray that things will continue to go the way they are. I feel grateful for the life I have. I belong that my mental illness has made me a better person. I am grateful for HDC for helping me get my life in order. I look forward everyday to get up and start my day for the first time in my life.